March 2, 2012
I just drove home from West Allis in the snow. It is absolutely gorgeous outside. The snow is heavy on the trees, thick and wet. I was coming home from a “work” outing with my husband. I was so anxious as we were on our way there. We were going out for drinks with a group of his coworkers who are essentially strangers to me. I had met them once before, but only long enough to feel like I did not fit.
I am essentially a very shy person, and have worked hard to overcome that and function adequately in the areas I need to. This was out of my comfort zone though. It is like an entire social language that I do not speak. What if I don’t look right, or act right, or interact correctly? All such petty questions in a world of much larger suffering and pain. However, for me in that moment it was terrifying in its own way.
I trust God can do anything, I guess I just don’t think that my insignificant little anxieties should be God’s problem. Regardless, God gave me what I needed, calmed my nerves, helped me to do the best that I could. I liken it to the story of the man who came to Jesus for healing, and without Jesus’ knowledge the man touched Jesus’ robe and was healed. I think that when we fortify ourselves with God, we don’t really need to make God consciously aware of the little problems (not that God doesn’t know what is going on with us – I guess we just don’t have to fill out a formal work order). We can just reach out and experience God’s presence. That to me is a wonder.
The beauty of the snow is a wonder too. We have had such a mild winter this year, few of us are really tired of the snow. We’ve had snow, it has just been so warm that it hasn’t stuck around to exhaust us. I think this fills me with a deeper appreciation for how spectacularly magnificent it is outside right now. That God designed a system in which water falls out of the air, and at cooler temperatures that water crystalizes into sometimes huge flakes with shape and dimension and originality is mind boggling. Scientists say that every snow flake is different. Trillions of snow flakes, all different. Billions of people, and we are all different. We all fear and love and grow differently. We are definitely created by a God of wonders. A God we can reach out to when we are in need, no matter how small that need.