March 4, 2012
I just got home from an evening out with my husbands: ex and current. My ex-husband is here for a week from Maine because our sons are in the midst of a four-day weekend. He always stays with us when he is in town because it is better for the kids: they get to see him as much as possible; it is good for him: he saves money on lodging and be accessible; and it is good for my husband and I as we get to have the parenting load lightened a little bit.
Now on top of that, my mom is visiting for the weekend so we have a full house. Since she is here she stayed with the kids tonight so we could go out for a parent-parent-parent conference. I sometimes wonder what people think of us. One year we went out for breakfast at IHOP on Christmas Eve and the waitress thought my ex was the grandpa (he’s a whole year-and-a-half older than I am), I was his daughter and the kids were mine and my husband’s.
What about people who know us? What do they think? My ex-husband says that everyone he knows thinks it is so bizarre that he stays with us when he comes here. Ultimately it doesn’t matter what anybody thinks. The life that we are in the midst of right now is family. Our kids have three parents, two of whom live here and one that does not. They know that they are loved and that we love them enough to make sure that they are constantly surrounded by love rather than bitterness and anger and hate and bickering.
My ex-husband and I may not have ever figured out how to be married, but as that entity died we were able to resurrect new life from those ashes and put our children first. Sometimes things die before life can spring anew. That is one of the reasons we observe lent. Beginning with Ash Wednesday, we recognize that something in us has to die before we can experience the new birth that comes with resurrection. We have no need for new life if something is not dead.
What do you want to die in you? Is there a part of you that is failing? An old set of thought patterns that is no longer useful or effective? An emotional response that has been so consistent, yet so inappropriate? Let it die. Walk out of the tomb resurrected. That is the gift of salvation, a new chance to be whole again – alive like never before!